Saturday, March 24, 2012

The drunk will set you true



It seems I'm only good for weekends these days. Here's my latest Trifextra entry. The prompt is ". . . we are giving you the first 33 words of a story. You need to complete it with 33 of your own words."

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“There’s nothing cute about it,” he said. The register of his voice indicated decision more so than discussion.

She disagreed heartily and privately, staring past his head and out the window behind him.

In the middle distance was her reflection, ghosts of pig tails bobbing along as the limo drove.

She was forty today and drunk tonight. The honest kind of drunk.

Honesty outlasted the hangover.

32 comments:

  1. Hah! From title to final line, I love this so... thankyaverymush! ;-)

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  2. She sounds so fun! He sounds like a fuddy-duddy. Let her be drunk. Let her be free. She's EARNED it. ANd I loved "honest kind of drunk"

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    1. Yes! She's really fun and knows what she likes, needs, what makes her happy. No need to argue with him about it.

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  3. 40 today and drunk tonight . . . I remember so well. :)

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    1. Truth is I'm not forty, yet. But I'm close. Still, it seemed like a milestone birthday was required. Especially in 33 words. I wanted to bring all the meaning of a "big" birthday to bear on the story.

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  4. Great title...and I liked your 33-word ending. I'm not quite 40 yet, but close enough I can probably start shopping for booze ;)

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    1. I can't say there's been any birthday that wasn't enhanced by the modest application of liquor.

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  5. I love an honest drunk. I've learned some hilarious things about my friends that way...which makes me love them even more!!! Great take on it!

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    1. It's funny that honest drunks make me think there's more to life than honesty. But it's definitely cleansing to say something only a booze-loosened tongue would admit.

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  6. I really like the way you connected the last line of the prompt to the first line of your story. Plus, pig tails are totally coming back, especially if you are over 40!!! Great write.

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    1. Thanks so much! I have a gorgeous, almost forty friend who ROCKS pig tails.

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  7. Nicole, you always bring something special and out of the ordinary to these prompts. This is another great one. "Forty today and drunk tonight." What a great line. I'm (almost, too) right there with ya, sista!

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    1. yes! which makes us wonder...what's tomorrow.

      Something good!

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    2. Thanks Sandra! I hate cutting it down to 33 words. I like this woman and would live to see what else turning forty has taught her.

      @braintomahawk Something great, I think,

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  8. Hello, dear. You have a pen name that I didn't know about? Or did you tell me and, in my old age, I forgot? Nice story. I, um, have no idea what you're talking about here. But I do know that honesty ALWAYS outlasts the hangover.

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    1. Hey, momma. Ah, Nicole Leigh Shaw, the Clark Kent to my Ninja Mom. I created this blog for the bits I didn't think would appeal to the majority if my Ninja Mom audience.

      As for what I'm talking about, meh, take a stab at it. What do you think?

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  9. Oh, no. Ponytails and 40. No good.
    But loved it. I could see everyone's faces...

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    1. Right! I just read two opposing views on pig tails over forty. I thought it was a natural topic for debate between the "him" and the "her" in this story. And the "her"? She doesn't really give a fuck what he thinks, at least, not anymore.

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  10. Great story - I like the direction you went with the prompt, and I love her spunk!

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    1. Yeah, I like that. Spunky works for her.

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  11. Yours is for sure one of my very favorite submissions [I've only said this to one other posting]. Yours is deep, stays in theme [cuteness] and shall get a vote from me. I guess we are allowed three votes and yours is one of mine. I am still searching for my third pick.
    Cheers! [Cipriano]

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    1. Wow! Thanks so much. I appreciate that!

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  12. Hey -- can you help me?
    HOW does a person actually vote? What is the process?

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  13. You can go back to the Trifecta site now and click on the entries you want to vote for. Or on the stars beneath the entires, perhaps.

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  14. "The honest kind of drunk," was a masterful turn of phrase!

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  15. I loved the pig tails at 40 thing, though it was not even something I could pull off at 20 so ... maybe I'm a wee bit jealous and wannabe?

    I agree, guy's a stick, she sounds like fun.

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  16. Thanks so much for linking up to Trifextra. Remember, this weekend’s entries are being judged by the Trifecta community, so I hope you were able to cast your votes. Winners will be announced with the Monday post. Hope to see you back then.

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  17. Love the honest drunk! She's fun and he's boring.

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  18. Really a great fun time I had, I like her, WOW!!!

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